Right. It's May now. And AS's started last Monday. And semester 3 started as well. Next paper's Chemistry 2 which is on coming Monday. OMG. I feel like killing myself.
I CAN"T EVEN GET 40 OUT OF 60!!
People might see me smiling all the time, but how many can see inside me? Yeah, I'm smiling all the time, laughing all the time, but that does not mean I'm happy all the time.
Main concern right now : How to score the Chemistry Paper 2.
I just suck in Chemistry. And I'm alone. People in class always seem to be so smart, much smarter, all the time, in any subject. And I can barely cope with Chemistry, Physics or Further Mathematics. Not to mention GP also. I'm at my limit already. I just wanna break down and escape from all this. I can't stay strong all the time, and I'm not strong to begin with. Sometimes I think why did I take A-levels. Why did I have to torture myself with the long hours of classes, the never-ending tutorials, and I can't even understand some of the things I learnt. But no, I will not regret my decision to come here, TARC and taking Further Mathematics, for I will not have met people like Rach, Sam, Elie (though you transfered to KYUEM but I still consider you one of SN11P) and everyone here. Close or not, that's a different matter. At least you guys played a great part in my life. No doubt this 1.5 years will be the greatest of all my 19 years.
But I don't know how long I can hold on anymore.
I'm so, so tired of trying to become someone I can never be.
Signing off.
