It's 2012 now!! Wheee~ Truthfully I'm not all that excited for 2012. It's just another year for me. So many posts saying it's the end of the world or something, but I don't care. Hahaha.. If the world's gonna end so be it. XD
Anyway, 2012's new year is a little different from others so far. Because I celebrated with my friends in KL, instead of staying home!! Well, it's not that much of a party but still, it's nice to see them again. Though we didn't really be apart for a long time.
And so, on the 30th I went to KL via bus, lrt, walking, etc. Reached JW's house around evening or something. Had dinner, and that's it for the day. It was planned that I go shopping with MW the next day. So woke up and shopping we went. Fishballs, meatball, prawns, vege and stuff that we normally eat. Imagine 2 young guys who doesn't really know grocery shopping need to buy all that. XD So I consider that night's steamboat a success? Hahaha.. So buy buy buy and then walked back to JW's house. Laze around, and then start washing the prawns and the vege. I, who didn't even help my mom in the kitchen, is washing vege for them. BE GRATEFUL YOU LUCKY BUNCH!! XD Soon, KF, Louis, Cat and Cherrie arrived. And the makan time starts!! =)
Makan makan makan. Chat chat chat. After we finished, it's fireworks time!!! Unfortunately, Cherrie needs to go back early. So she couldn't watch with us. But damn the scenery's so AWESOME!!! Fireworks here and there!! It's so colourful!! And we got a VVIP place. Hahaha.. JW's house is on the 14th floor (bad number.. XD ) and so we can practically watch all the fireworks in KL there. After 15 minutes or so, back to poker cards. Hahaha.. They went back around 1 and I slept soon after. :D
It's the first day of 2012!!! Hurray? Hahahaha.. Woke up, washed and off we go to Subway!! Ooohhh I miss the sandwiches. SO NAIISSEEEE~ Then watched Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows at Wangsa Walk. Then need to rush back to Seremban. >.<
Signing off.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Friday, December 9, 2011
December : Time For A Break
December. First thing that comes into my mind when I hear that word is HOLIDAYS!!! But I've been holiday-ing since November, so it's not a big deal now. Well, I just came back from Penang with the peeps. It was fun, but personally I feel it's kinda hectic. I mean we're like on a rush all the time. Rush rush rush. This wasn't my kind of perfect outing but still it was kinda successful. Minus the frustration from no public transport. And stuffs that happened along the way. Let's see if I still remember what we did then.
The trip's on 29 November. But I came back a day earlier as I went shopping with my aunt and my mom. Shop shop shop in Sunway Pyramid. I didn't buy much. Nothing attracts me there. I don't know why. Oh well. Maybe it's cause I'm shopping with my family instead of my friends. XD Then had Tony Romas (don't know how to spell) for the first time. SUPER FULL when I'm finished. It's like triple or 4 times normal McD set. So didn't have dinner that night.
The day finally arrived!! All the wangsa people gathered at JW's house so we can go together. Even MW came to join in the crowd. He's not going cause he needs to go UK for interview with Cambridge. And my first time happened that night. With John. O.O Nah!! I just had a bath with him. Like nude together gether. Like seriously take off everything and we can see each other's ehem. XD Nothing much, just not used to bathing with someone NAKED. I did bathe with a lot of people during my NS times, but not as much nudity as this. New experience. XD Then had pizza for dinner. And off we go to KL Central for the midnight train to Penang.
Reached Penang around 7? Somewhere near that time. Can't remember. Had breakfast at some hawker stall and started walking to Ryokan, our hotel. More like a dorm actually. I don't know. It feels dorm-y. Then started checking out the museums, churches and stuff. And some of us went back to Ryokan first while the other group went to meet Cal and Hui hui. Then dinner and went back hotel. That night skyped with MW. XD
The next morning went Kek Lok Si and Bukit Bendera. Woke up around 7, start cleaning and off we go!! Hiked much, walked much, saw much. Then decided to skip Fort Cornwallis for Penang Street. Makan makan makan. XD That night went to Gurney for dinner. And went to Overtime's next door shop, Coffee Island. Save some money for later. =)
The next morning woke up earlier. Need to take the speedboat to Langkawi. Not exactly a speedboat. More like a faster ferry. Reached Langkawi somewhere in the afternoon. Had lunch in a Thai restaurant and went to the house we rented. Rested for a while and time to hit the waterfall!!! Had a good time there. Highlight of the day, Cal forgot to bring extra shorts!!! So he had to play around in his swimming trunks only. XD And the girls bought batik for the beach later. And we hit the beach for the sunset. Haihz. No sunset cause too much clouds blocking. Grrrr.. But still we walked around the beach, played in the water, so still ok lar. Then went for dinner at a nearby shop. After that we bought alcohol!!! Planning to get drunk that night. Hahahaha.. Reached homestay, bathed and dressed nicely. Why? TIME FOR PUB-ING!!! XD But the driver could only allocate one hour for us, oh well. But we went there just for the feel. And then went back to drink the ones we bought. Bobo, Sam, Cherrie, KF, JW and SS didn't drink. Louis drank a little. So the ones drinking are Cal, Hui Hui, John, YV, YT and me!!! YT was sorta drunk that night.. So funny!! Hui Hui's practically drunk. Cal also blur blur ady. So are John and YV. I drank the most, but I'm also the most sober among all of them. Gotta make sure all of them slept only I sleep. Gosh I feel like a dad making sure all my kids sleep. XD
The next morning woke up early. SAM'S fault!!!! But no hangover anything. I CAN DRINK!!! :D Hahahaha.. went for breakie and started shopping. But not enough time to really shop cause need to take the ferry back to Kuala Kedah and then the midnight train to KL Central. Everyone's tired so slept in the train. XD
And back to wangsa. John, YV, SS and Bobo went back to their homes straight away. And the leftovers stayed at JW's house and went shopping for 3 days straight till everyone went back to their own hometown.
All in all it was great able to spend time with them. Gonna miss them lots.
Signing off.
Monday, October 31, 2011
October : Preparation For A2
October month already. Time flies even when you're not enjoying. Proven. It was only like yesterday when I had my trials and getting the awful results. And now I'm preparing for the important-est exam in my life. OMG so scary. Anyway, I have been a good boy recently I guess.
I started going to the library daily for few weeks now. First it wasn't that easy to wake up early and be a nerd in the library but now it became a habit. Am I turning into a bookworm?!!!! NOOOOO~ But obviously I didn't go there to study only. Main priority : DOWNLOAD. XD The internet is there for me to abuse so why not? And the speed is not that bad either. Since I'm a download freak, I think I downloaded more than 40 movies and few series there. XD OMG I should stop before I get addicted. Oh well, too late. XD I'm now into Korean movies. Mainly because the actors and actresses are so hot!!! I know some of them are fake (behold the power of plastic surgery) but still they managed to make them look so handsome and beautiful. *Jealous* And secondly because some of the series got pretty good reviews. My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho is one. Secret Garden is another. And then there's Iris, Athena, Personal Preference, etc. So yeah. I downloaded all of them. Thanks to TARC's library internet. XD
But with me going to the library everyday, things tend to change on the other side too. I mean hostelians and me. I was the only one going to the library everyday. So we tend to talk lesser and lesser. And whenever we talk it'll be on Dragon Nest, which I don't play all that often. I still play, but I don't do research on what skills to learn first, or which job is more suitable for PVP-ing. I just play according to my own way and direction. I don't refer to online skill guide or search on youtube for videos on the combos available. I personally feel that when we're playing a character based game we should shape the character into how we want it to be, not according to some online guide. If we do follow we are playing according to the author's way of playing, so what's the point? Anyway I feel like I'm drifting further away from the hostelians. Yes we still talk, but we're just not that close anymore. Oh well I guess I can't have the best of both worlds. As one of the FB pictures suggest, we can only choose 2 out of social, studies and time. At the moment I chose studies and time.
But though I go to the library everyday, I wonder if it helps at all. I'm not that good in studies, but I think I can manage a bit of all subjects. But a bit is not enough now. I had to score like really well in A2 just to be able to enrol in a good university and fight for scholarship. Enrolling in a good university isn't that much trouble, scholarship is. I'm practically competing with 4A* people. With my results, no chance. ='( And the thing about past year papers. I can do it pretty ok, but when it comes to real exam, K.O. I can't do like I did with the PYPs. I don't know why. The PYPs always seems easier. Like the past MP paper, it wasn't like the PYPs. It was more difficult. Not mentioning I didn't master all the syllabus. *sigh*
And this time the timetable is pretty sucky as well. MP on a Friday, MA on the next Friday, FMP Chem P4 Phy P4 in the same week, FMA Chem P5 and Phy P5 in the next. OTL I can choose only 2 out of FMP Chem and Phy to do ok-ly. But I don't have a choice but to choose all 3. I can't finish all the syllabuses in time. I guarantee that. 3 subjects total more than 50 chapters to study. And most of them are not short chapters. ='( I can't tell anybody bout this. Everyone is just equally stressed. But what's different is I'm not as bright as them. All those going to the library are way better than me. I'm like one of the dumb-est there. *sigh*
Mom called yesterday. She confirmed if I'm going back on Friday the 18th. It's my cousin's wedding reception the next day. And after all the chat she ended with "Don't play around anymore. It's your final paper. Be sure to give it your all." One: I'm not playing around since AS. It's just that I need a break so I tend to relax a lot. She wouldn't understand the pressure we're under with exams every 2 months. Two: I'm giving my all this time. Like seriously my all. I can't help it if I'm not smart enough to understand every single thing I study. Three: I didn't receive any "Don't stress yourself too much. Be sure to rest enough. " It's always "Don't fool around anymore. You need to ace the paper." Maybe she didn't realise but she's giving me unlimited stress and pressure. It's bad enough when I'm stressed because I know I can't do all that well. And then there's this push from home. I think I'll fall off the "cliff" someday.
What I can do now is only pray to God to bless me with knowledge and guidance to do my papers. I don't talk to Him all that often, but I think I should now.
Signing off.
I started going to the library daily for few weeks now. First it wasn't that easy to wake up early and be a nerd in the library but now it became a habit. Am I turning into a bookworm?!!!! NOOOOO~ But obviously I didn't go there to study only. Main priority : DOWNLOAD. XD The internet is there for me to abuse so why not? And the speed is not that bad either. Since I'm a download freak, I think I downloaded more than 40 movies and few series there. XD OMG I should stop before I get addicted. Oh well, too late. XD I'm now into Korean movies. Mainly because the actors and actresses are so hot!!! I know some of them are fake (behold the power of plastic surgery) but still they managed to make them look so handsome and beautiful. *Jealous* And secondly because some of the series got pretty good reviews. My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho is one. Secret Garden is another. And then there's Iris, Athena, Personal Preference, etc. So yeah. I downloaded all of them. Thanks to TARC's library internet. XD
But with me going to the library everyday, things tend to change on the other side too. I mean hostelians and me. I was the only one going to the library everyday. So we tend to talk lesser and lesser. And whenever we talk it'll be on Dragon Nest, which I don't play all that often. I still play, but I don't do research on what skills to learn first, or which job is more suitable for PVP-ing. I just play according to my own way and direction. I don't refer to online skill guide or search on youtube for videos on the combos available. I personally feel that when we're playing a character based game we should shape the character into how we want it to be, not according to some online guide. If we do follow we are playing according to the author's way of playing, so what's the point? Anyway I feel like I'm drifting further away from the hostelians. Yes we still talk, but we're just not that close anymore. Oh well I guess I can't have the best of both worlds. As one of the FB pictures suggest, we can only choose 2 out of social, studies and time. At the moment I chose studies and time.
But though I go to the library everyday, I wonder if it helps at all. I'm not that good in studies, but I think I can manage a bit of all subjects. But a bit is not enough now. I had to score like really well in A2 just to be able to enrol in a good university and fight for scholarship. Enrolling in a good university isn't that much trouble, scholarship is. I'm practically competing with 4A* people. With my results, no chance. ='( And the thing about past year papers. I can do it pretty ok, but when it comes to real exam, K.O. I can't do like I did with the PYPs. I don't know why. The PYPs always seems easier. Like the past MP paper, it wasn't like the PYPs. It was more difficult. Not mentioning I didn't master all the syllabus. *sigh*
And this time the timetable is pretty sucky as well. MP on a Friday, MA on the next Friday, FMP Chem P4 Phy P4 in the same week, FMA Chem P5 and Phy P5 in the next. OTL I can choose only 2 out of FMP Chem and Phy to do ok-ly. But I don't have a choice but to choose all 3. I can't finish all the syllabuses in time. I guarantee that. 3 subjects total more than 50 chapters to study. And most of them are not short chapters. ='( I can't tell anybody bout this. Everyone is just equally stressed. But what's different is I'm not as bright as them. All those going to the library are way better than me. I'm like one of the dumb-est there. *sigh*
Mom called yesterday. She confirmed if I'm going back on Friday the 18th. It's my cousin's wedding reception the next day. And after all the chat she ended with "Don't play around anymore. It's your final paper. Be sure to give it your all." One: I'm not playing around since AS. It's just that I need a break so I tend to relax a lot. She wouldn't understand the pressure we're under with exams every 2 months. Two: I'm giving my all this time. Like seriously my all. I can't help it if I'm not smart enough to understand every single thing I study. Three: I didn't receive any "Don't stress yourself too much. Be sure to rest enough. " It's always "Don't fool around anymore. You need to ace the paper." Maybe she didn't realise but she's giving me unlimited stress and pressure. It's bad enough when I'm stressed because I know I can't do all that well. And then there's this push from home. I think I'll fall off the "cliff" someday.
What I can do now is only pray to God to bless me with knowledge and guidance to do my papers. I don't talk to Him all that often, but I think I should now.
Signing off.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
September : TRIALS!!
So I just had my trials last week. And I'm having classes already. G.R.E.A.T =____=
OK, back to trials. First problem of all : THE TIMETABLE SUCKS HARD!!!!!
It was P4 Chemistry with FMP, P4 Physics with MA and FMA in 3 days consecutively. I mean WTF?!!!! As if Chemistry is not bad enough TARC have to have FMP on the same day. And Physics have to be not left alone. And FMA have to be in the same week. How in the world am I gonna handle 3 Maths paper in the same week not mentioning two of them are FM?!!!!! Way to go TARC. Thanks for ruining my trials results. I was planning to apply for that UCAS or something. But looking at the timetable I know I'm gonna fuck up my trials real bad. Oh, did I mention all the easy papers like P5 Chemistry, P5 Physics and MP are on another week? These are my scoring papers and they have it in another week, AFTER all those depressing papers. Come on lar, who the hell will have the mood to study after screwing up the papers before that. I know I don't.
And classes started already. So considering my efficient lecturer's performance, results are out. And as I have guessed, results were real bad. Like REAL BAD. I failed 2 papers and got D for another 2. Damn I might even fail 3 subjects. And it was trials too. Not that I didn't try my best, I did. I studied till 3am for one week. Just to finish all the syllabus for all subjects. And it didn't help much. Since I can't answer anything much when the paper came out. Damn stress during trials. For the first time I cried studying. Not the normal crying out loud type. Just the silent cry with tears flowing and not making a sound. I guess nobody knew or guessed that I cried because of exam. Well I did. For the first time. I can foresee more of that moment.
I can sort of imagine what my mom will say right now. And she'll be so angry she'll be shouting till the whole house shook, asking why I get such a bad result. (Exaggerating much.. LOL..) And she will start saying all kinds of things like how I keep on playing, how I don't study, how I wasted her money sending me to college, how this will affect my future, bla bla bla. As if I don't know how much college costs. As if I don't know how bad my future seems to be. But what she doesn't know is my situation. My feelings. My thoughts. Having bad results, who doesn't feel down?!! And she will keep nagging and nagging like I don't care about my results. I DO. If not I wouldn't be studying till late night, going for classes when I don't even feel like going. And it won't pass her mind that I am sad at the moment. Hoping for some encouragement or comforting from her. But no. She will just scold and scold and scold. It has always been like that since young. Or maybe the thought did get to her but she still does the scolding. I wonder which is worse; she scolding without having the thought that I am sad or with the thought? Hmmmm...
And I won't tell her about how I studied till 3am. Or the fact that I cried during exam. I won't. She will probably make fun of my effort or say things like "Who ask you to study at the last minute?" etc etc. But what she doesn't know is how much we need to study. How difficult it is to finish all in time. How difficult it is to score a decent 50 out of 100. How difficult the paper is until so many things so many other students can't answer. There's so many things she doesn't know. She is still in the world that I can get first place in every test, getting full As in every major exam. I've accepted the fact that I'm not that good in studies, compared to people like Andrew or Min Yue or Jun Hui. I've moved on, but she's still in that world. And I have brothers who went through F6. So you may think that they are supportive. But no. They will start asking questions like "Why did you not study?" or "Why can't you handle the paper if you studied?" How am I supposed to answer those questions? It's not like they will understand my answer. I mean they're not me. So they can't understand what I'm going through. My family's like this. They have always been. And I'm not expecting them to change. I just need to be patient till I have the ability to survive on my own without depending on them. Many will think I'm such a bad child, but I can't help it. Blame the way I'm brought up. Blame the environment I'm in. Or just blame me.
Now I need to drug myself with games so that I don't have to look at my books. Looking at them reminds me of my results. And the question whether studying will make a difference. I'm not someone who can study 24/7. I'm not someone who can understand everything I study. I'm not someone who can relate everything to anything. I'm just who I am, an average boy who likes to have fun and try to take things as it is. But it seems everyone expects me to be somebody else. Far from who I am. And that's why I have 2 faces. One I show here in college and another at home. I'm just so so tired from fulfilling everyone's expectation. Who's gonna fulfil mine? *sigh*
Signing off.
OK, back to trials. First problem of all : THE TIMETABLE SUCKS HARD!!!!!
It was P4 Chemistry with FMP, P4 Physics with MA and FMA in 3 days consecutively. I mean WTF?!!!! As if Chemistry is not bad enough TARC have to have FMP on the same day. And Physics have to be not left alone. And FMA have to be in the same week. How in the world am I gonna handle 3 Maths paper in the same week not mentioning two of them are FM?!!!!! Way to go TARC. Thanks for ruining my trials results. I was planning to apply for that UCAS or something. But looking at the timetable I know I'm gonna fuck up my trials real bad. Oh, did I mention all the easy papers like P5 Chemistry, P5 Physics and MP are on another week? These are my scoring papers and they have it in another week, AFTER all those depressing papers. Come on lar, who the hell will have the mood to study after screwing up the papers before that. I know I don't.
And classes started already. So considering my efficient lecturer's performance, results are out. And as I have guessed, results were real bad. Like REAL BAD. I failed 2 papers and got D for another 2. Damn I might even fail 3 subjects. And it was trials too. Not that I didn't try my best, I did. I studied till 3am for one week. Just to finish all the syllabus for all subjects. And it didn't help much. Since I can't answer anything much when the paper came out. Damn stress during trials. For the first time I cried studying. Not the normal crying out loud type. Just the silent cry with tears flowing and not making a sound. I guess nobody knew or guessed that I cried because of exam. Well I did. For the first time. I can foresee more of that moment.
I can sort of imagine what my mom will say right now. And she'll be so angry she'll be shouting till the whole house shook, asking why I get such a bad result. (Exaggerating much.. LOL..) And she will start saying all kinds of things like how I keep on playing, how I don't study, how I wasted her money sending me to college, how this will affect my future, bla bla bla. As if I don't know how much college costs. As if I don't know how bad my future seems to be. But what she doesn't know is my situation. My feelings. My thoughts. Having bad results, who doesn't feel down?!! And she will keep nagging and nagging like I don't care about my results. I DO. If not I wouldn't be studying till late night, going for classes when I don't even feel like going. And it won't pass her mind that I am sad at the moment. Hoping for some encouragement or comforting from her. But no. She will just scold and scold and scold. It has always been like that since young. Or maybe the thought did get to her but she still does the scolding. I wonder which is worse; she scolding without having the thought that I am sad or with the thought? Hmmmm...
And I won't tell her about how I studied till 3am. Or the fact that I cried during exam. I won't. She will probably make fun of my effort or say things like "Who ask you to study at the last minute?" etc etc. But what she doesn't know is how much we need to study. How difficult it is to finish all in time. How difficult it is to score a decent 50 out of 100. How difficult the paper is until so many things so many other students can't answer. There's so many things she doesn't know. She is still in the world that I can get first place in every test, getting full As in every major exam. I've accepted the fact that I'm not that good in studies, compared to people like Andrew or Min Yue or Jun Hui. I've moved on, but she's still in that world. And I have brothers who went through F6. So you may think that they are supportive. But no. They will start asking questions like "Why did you not study?" or "Why can't you handle the paper if you studied?" How am I supposed to answer those questions? It's not like they will understand my answer. I mean they're not me. So they can't understand what I'm going through. My family's like this. They have always been. And I'm not expecting them to change. I just need to be patient till I have the ability to survive on my own without depending on them. Many will think I'm such a bad child, but I can't help it. Blame the way I'm brought up. Blame the environment I'm in. Or just blame me.
Now I need to drug myself with games so that I don't have to look at my books. Looking at them reminds me of my results. And the question whether studying will make a difference. I'm not someone who can study 24/7. I'm not someone who can understand everything I study. I'm not someone who can relate everything to anything. I'm just who I am, an average boy who likes to have fun and try to take things as it is. But it seems everyone expects me to be somebody else. Far from who I am. And that's why I have 2 faces. One I show here in college and another at home. I'm just so so tired from fulfilling everyone's expectation. Who's gonna fulfil mine? *sigh*
Signing off.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)