Another month is gone. Yeah. Which means I'm getting nearer and nearer to A-Levels exam. And i just lost all my momentum in doing tutorials and studying.. D:
And so, talking bout February, quite a boring month. Boring as in everything is as usual. Boring as in not much lepak-ing and movie marathon-ing. Thinking back, i think i didn't go for any outing at all in February. OTL
Two more weeks and Mid Course attacks. NOOOOO~!!!!
But there's no helping it. Probably pray real hard i can still keep my scholarship. And at the rate i'm going, most probably not. Yeah, i can start thinking my speech when explaining to my mom.
And to make things worse, i was kinda emo last week and the week before that. I just lost all my fun-ness and became a down, down, DOWN, kind of guy. Hmmm. I don't feel like doing anything at all. :( Not even playing any games. Maybe i'm too stressed or it's just a phase. (god knows what phase it is)
But probably it's just my problem. I don't know. I've been thinking a lot. How sad my life is. How alone and helpless am i in this world. How i can't accomplish anything that i wanna accomplish. How bad am i as a person to other people. And then i realised what a " good " life i am having right now. OTL
Yeah. And i probably wasn't a good friend to anyone. I feel it's hard to be friends with me. As a boy, i don't indulge in things that boys like. Football? NO. Action packed movies? NO. Arcade? NO. And you may think i like stuff that girls like. NO. A big fat NO. At least to most of the things. And this means i'm sort of like in the middle. And no one is in the middle. But me. D:
And then i have no one to talk to. Absolutely no one. One: I don't have a best-friend-mom or dad or brother and definitely not sister. Two: I don't wanna kacau my friends with my problems. So conclusion? Keep it in and shut it in my heart forever and ever and after. And i was trained to keep everything to myself. Being the youngest i have no say in anything and no one to express my feelings to. And so i was used to keeping things to myself already. Bravo! OTL
Looking at facebook posts which say "awww..i miss you.." I never got any of that. Yeah. I'm being ridiculous. And i'm being the LOA guy. OTL But i can't help but feeling sad, lonely and sad. No one bothered to remember me. Am i so easily forgotten? Oh well.
That just showed how lonely and attention-seeker i was. But i guess i can't be good friends with everyone. And i'm tired of being someone i'm not just so they can accept me.
I'm just so, so tired..
Signing off.
